Copyright 1995-2005 - Chuck Pritchard

POETS, BARDS & LIARS

Now I've got a friend by the name of Roy Dean Wood

A cowboy by trade, he does it like we all should

He ain't big as a minute, just a little ol duck legged fart

All full of hisself and got plenty of heart

He's wild as a tornado and always in a wreck

But it ain't killed him yet, so what the heck

Well, he'd been a ridin' pens over at that Seven Rivers Outfit

And them cows and manure had sure give his accouterments a fit

Ol Sam Myers would turn over, if he knowed what Deano had done

He'd took his saddle to the CARWASH, and then let it dry out in the sun

And his leggins was ruined, they was thoroughly shot

You couldn't a got them clean if you'd a boiled 'em in a pot

So me and Ol Boudreaux, we decided it was time

For Deano to have a pair of chinks, and we was sure gonna make 'em fine

Well, we got 'em done and they sure were a hit

Pretty as could be and sure to fit

Only thing was, they was kinda loud and off the wall

That side of leather, well…….. it looked like Pepto Bismol

And we had some left over, just the right amount

For a pair of saddlebags too, this joke here was a gettin' paramount

But Ol Deano fooled us, said he wouldn't have no other

He was right proud and said that was his color

We thought he was kiddin', wouldn't nobody wear them

Huh, …nobody but him

He hired on to do cow work for Ol Uncle Sam, and stood his inspection

They hired a cowboy like this?…..A little more than they expected

Then we went to move some cows, out on the old Diamond A

Just swappin' pastures and kinda enjoyin' the day

Ol Deano was a gathering, always pulling more'n his share of the load

When here comes three hands in a pickup, just a ridin' down the road

Well, they couldn't miss him, lopin' around all aglow

Their mouths dropped open and that pickup was sure goin' slow

Now, Ol Deano's real friendly so he give 'em a wave

But he got no response, they was awestruck and kinda in a daze

And he knew they were thinkin' that his loafers might be kinda light

All decked out in his chinks, a shinin' so bright

So I asked him " Son, just what did you do?

If it'd been me, I'd a turned plumb blue."

He says " Naw, I didn't want their expectations to run amiss

So as I rode off…I just blowed 'em a great big kiss."